Posted by
Charles Lewis on Monday, January 21, 2008 10:22:02 PM
by Charles R Lewis
I've
begun to believe the unbelievable: the South Carolina Diebold machines
used in last Saturday's GOP presidential primary election were
programmed to abduct a good percentage of the people who who punched
buttons for John McCain. Abduct them for safekeeping, no doubt, for the
next time useful idiots are needed to swing an election sharply to the
left. I write this because, in spite of repeated public appeals for
their revelation (see A Reeking Rat in the SC Diebolds, Hope Emerges that McCain Win Was Just Due to American Useful Idiocy, Dying ember catching fire), we've been able to locate next to none of them in South Carolina since McCain's smashing victory last Saturday.
As
we've reported, nobody seems to know anybody who knows anybody who
voted for McCain, the talk shows are still registering less than 1%
pro-McCain callersm the cumulative count of McCain sign sightings
(according to unofficial sign counter and WORD talk show host Bob
McLain) is still frozen at somewhere between 2 and 3, and not a single
one of the thousands of evangelicals who the mainstream pollsters tell
us decided to overlook McCain's long history of direct put-downs of
evangelicals and vote for him has turned up.
How,
you ask, could the powers that be possibly keep these folks hostage and
still expect them to do their bidding in future elections? True, the
abductees must be really hot at this stage against their abductors.
But
you must understand that the species known as "Votatorus McCainus
Republicanus" suffers from a congenital memory disorder known as
"McCaintremember Amnestesia," which renders them incapable of recalling
affronts, offenses, and acts of overt treason committed more than a few
weeks previous. Thus, the high tech kidnappers have no more to fear
than McCain or his local accomplice, Senator Lindsey Graham, have to
fear from forgetful SC Republican voters.
Be
aware that this is all pure conjecture, of course. It's possible that
the disappearance of the all but seven (so far found) of the 150,000 or
so said to have voted for McCain Saturday was a result of their
abduction not by voracious voting machines but by space aliens,
fascinated by the amnestesia phenomenon - fascinated enough to want to
do experiments on these specimens.
Or
perhaps, in the spirit of McCain's "campaign finance reform" law (which
outlawed disclosure of congressional voting records within 60 days of a
general election and 30 days of a primary), they're simply choosing not
to disclose that they voted for McCain this soon after the primary.
Maybe after a month they'll assume the coast is clear and come out of
the closet all at once.
In
any event, if you should run across any of the horde of conservative
South Carolinian invasion supporters who delivered this landslide to
this most enigmatic member of the Kennedy-Kerry-McCain "3 Amigos" gang,
please let me know immediately, as I am keeping score and would like to
get into double figures at least by February. You can reach me at
1-800-SUCKERHUNTER.